Complexity: Level 3


Time: 60 minutes


Group size: 10 to 20


Download the handout


Download the activity

'If you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.'
Anita Roddick

Objectives

• To discuss the boundaries of a safe and equal relationship
• To learn to recognise the early warning signs of an abusive relationship
• To discuss the role of education and / or youth work in helping to prevent violence in intimate relationships.

Materials

• Copies of the story of the Knight in Shining Armor for Susie, the narrator and the knight.

Preparation

Familiarise yourself with the issue of violence in relationships before running this activity. The section Gender-based violence of this website, especially the sections dealing with domestic violence and abuse, is particularly helpful for clarifying the differences between various kinds of gender-based violence and for identifying potential human rights concerns.

Select two participants or a small team to help you with co-facilitating this activity. Brief them in advance about what will happen during the activity. Give each of them a copy of the story of the Knight in Shining Armor. If possible, the person that plays Susie (and is ‘courted’) should be female. If you do not think that any participant is appropriate for the role, ask a (female) team member to be Susie. The other participant or team member should be the narrator. You (the facilitator) should play the knight.

Prepare the working area so that all participants can sit in front of the actors, in such way they can observe all the action clearly.

Instructions

1) Explain to participants that they will hear a short story about a knight on a white horse, and that afterwards there will be a discussion of the issues raised and the feelings evoked.

2) The actors move to the middle of the room. You (the facilitator) are the knight. You kneel in front of Susie, or sit next to her, and hold her hand. It is preferable for you to act out the ‘courting’ scenes by heart, rather than reading, so if possible, try to learn the dialogue in advance. The narrator stands to the side

and reads aloud their parts of the story.

3) After the ‘courting scene’ and story have been completed, look at the faces of participants for reactions or emotions. If they seem a little shocked or upset, ask for a moment of silence for them to reflect on and take note of their feelings.

Debriefing and evaluation

Begin the debriefing by asking the person who played Susie to share her feelings and impressions about the role play. Then continue by asking everyone the following questions:

• How did the story make you feel? Why?
• What do you think about this relationship?
• At which point do you think Susie should have realised that this is a dangerous relationship?
• What are the signals that indicate that this relationship is becoming abusive?
• What can we understand about romantic relationships from this story?
• Where does a genuinely equal relationship end and an abusive one begins?
• From where do we get our ideas about what relationships should be like?
• How realistic are these ideas or stories?
• Which human rights are violated in cases of domestic violence?
• How do romanticised views of relationships affect young people?
• What can you do to raise awareness of young people about gender equality?

Tips for the facilitator

This activity can be very emotional for some participants: it needs to be run in a safe environment. This is not an activity that can be run with a group that has only recently met. If your group has come together for a one-off residential activity, it is suggested that you run this activity only after the group has worked together for a few days. Participants need to be able to trust the facilitator as well as other members of the group.

Bear in mind that you do not necessarily know 'who is in the room'. Someone may have experienced, or be experiencing, an abusive relationship. You should make sure that no-one feels under any pressure to disclose things that they are not ready to speak about. Try to formulate the questions you ask in the debriefing in a non-personalised manner, so that even if they participants have relevant personal experiences, they do not feel that they have to answer by referring to these experiences directly.

Be aware that such experiences may be painful for participants and that as a facilitator it will be your responsibility to deal with any emotional consequences of running the activity in your group. If a participant gets upset or begins to cry, you need to be prepared to deal with that both on a one to one basis and in the whole group.

Suggestions for follow-up

Run the activity Kati’s story with the same group to develop further the theme of domestic violence and abuse. You could use some of the information in the section Gender-based violence to provide further information on domestic violence. You could also use the section Taking action of this website to explore with participants ways of acting against gender-based violence, including domestic violence.

Ideas for action

Participants could get in touch with a local hotline or shelter for women experiencing domestic violence to understand the extent of the problem in their community. You could also arrange a meeting with people working in relevant organisations. Alternatively, participants could conduct research online, or by making enquiries with the police, into existing measures for addressing domestic violence. They could design a resource for young people which explains domestic violence and outlines the support that exists for victims in the local area. If such support services do not exist, participants could design a campaign to for them to be established.